Separation and divorce aren’t simple. It’s not unusual for divorce proceedings to involve difficult discussions about children, finances and the future. It is important to realize that going to court may not be the right choice or the only option. Mediation with family members is an easier, less stressful, and more collaborative approach for families to work out the most important issues that arise after divorce.

The goal of family mediation is to provide a neutral and secure environment in which couples who have separated can discuss practical issues together under the guidance an impartial mediator. This isn’t about blaming or reliving previous disputes. Instead, the focus should be entirely on the future and making agreements which are fair and effective for both sides. Some of the topics are financial arrangements as well as division of property, and co-parenting. But the flexibility of the process allows for it to be modified to meet the needs of each family.

One of the most appealing aspects of mediation is that the final decision remains within the control of the couple. Instead of leaving the final decision up to the judge, mediation assists both sides in forming solutions that reflect their family’s unique situation. It can lead to more lasting and more practical agreements.

What is MIAM? And why does it play a role in the process?

In England and Wales, before taking action with family mediators or filing court cases on matters involving finances or children, most divorced couples are required to attend MIAM (Mediumation Information and Assessment Meeting).

This first meeting is held one-on-1 with a family mediation specialist. During the meeting the mediator for families explains the procedure of mediation, and then determines if it is suitable for the couple. It is important to note that attending an MIAM isn’t an obligation to engage in mediation. The MIAM is an opportunity to examine the options and decide whether formal court proceedings are more appropriate than mediation.

The majority of people will attempt mediation after they know the procedure. This is especially true once they are aware of how flexible and cost-effective this alternative option to court proceedings could be.

The C100 form and Family Mediation

In situations where mediation is not suitable, or if one or both parties choose not to proceed, the mediator can sign what’s called a C100 form. The form is required to be presented to the court in order to request an order for child arrangement. It affirms that mediation attempts were made but failed to produce an agreement. Without this form (except in some exempt cases) the application to a court regarding child arrangements usually won’t be accepted.

In many cases families are able to arrive at a consensus through family mediation before ever needing to submit a C100 form. Mediation can often be a great way to avoid court, the expenses and stress that comes with it.

A More Collaborative Path Forward

The difficulties of separation may be overwhelming. However, mediation for families, which is facilitated by the MIAM process and the judicious use of the C100 form, provides a path that is more empowering and collaborative. Mediators assist families in finding solutions for their issues which focus around the interests of everyone involved, including children.

In many cases the positive outcomes and the positive changes that come from mediation with families are more positive due to the fact that it is conducted away from courtrooms and the emphasis is on respectful communications and understanding. It’s often the most effective method to get ahead with more clarity and less conflict. It helps families not just divide but reshape their lives with care.